An open letter to a muse

Posted July 20, 2010

We haven't worked together, not really. But I see your photos, your smile, the way you carry yourself... and it makes me daydream of the day I get you in front of my camera. Not the one I shot that time, but the one you really are, the one that comes out behind closed doors when you allow you to be you. I've met that "you" and I truly respect that "you" I met.

I remember meeting you and feeling so small. Your work made me tremble, just a little, but it was enough. My work wasn't worthy of you yet. It's been three years now and I'm still not worthy. Truth be told, I'm not sure I will ever be, I'm not sure I want to be.

When I shoot, I think of you often, wondering if you will like what I create, wondering how you would feel if you were gracing my camera instead of the person actually there. And it makes me try harder.

One day it will happen, possibly. Then again it might not. The more I think about it maybe I prefer that I never become worthy. Because this way, I never will. But I will keep trying. And I will continue to improve. And even if we never create anything magical, I'll never have you far from my thoughts. Then again, even if we do create something amazing, you will still be there. Because of... in spite of... you. And I thank you for it, at least here.

Thanks for being you and everything you inspire me to become.